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Revealed… my biggest life regret.
And why it didn’t turn out to be such a bad deal anyway.
This week’s Saturday Sidebar is coming to you from somewhere in the world. I wonder if you can guess?
If you guessed Spain, muy bien! Estoy en Madrid.
But, why am I here, and what’s the story on regrets?
Read on, it’ll come together.
First, why I’m in Spain now. You may know that one of the things I write about is golf. And, if you follow women’s golf, you might know that the Solheim Cup and Junior Solheim Cup are taking place next week, in the Costa del Sol (between Marbella and Malaga). The Solheim Cup is the women’s version of the Ryder Cup - USA vs. Europe in golf. I’m here to write some inspirational stories of women and girls working hard to accomplish their goals. I’m also going to do a few pieces on Madrid in the Fall - because I’ve got to tell you, it’s pretty magical.
Now about the regrets, which will require time travel back to my junior year in college. I started the year with plans to study in Madrid second semester. However, during the first week of school, I met someone, and was so head over heels, that I changed my semester abroad to a six week summer program. This worked out at the time, but after all was said and done, I always felt like I’d made a mistake… that I missed out on another life I should’ve lived in Madrid.
This bothered me for years, and I literally thought I disrupted my life timeline. That was, until I decided to do something about it. I found ways in my post-college life to make up for missing Spain and still feel connected to the language, people, and country. I also found ways to visit - often.
I’ll reveal those at the end of this newsletter.
But most importantly, I realized something about regrets. We can dwell on them and let them make us feel bad, or we can move past them… and think about how we can use them to learn and grow, and do things a bit differently. That way, instead of staying in the negative realm of shoulda/coulda/woulda… we’re in the land of the living… LIVING our present day lives.
That feels like a better spot to be, no?
With that, let’s see what I’ve got for you this week.
Brené Brown digs deep into the topic of regrets in this episode of her podcast Dare to Lead. She talks to Dan Pink about his book,The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.
This episode of Best Friend Therapy (great podcast name, btw) asks the questions… What Is Regret? And How Might It Be Holding Us Back?
When we have regrets, we often feel limited. Deepak Chopra tells us The 5 Simple Steps That Will Make Your Mind Limitless.
I always like to find new inspirational YouTubes to watch. Here are 10 for you to consider. (I know and like #4 and #9.)
For fun, here are 37 Things You Won’t Regret Buying.
On the flip side, see what Valentina says you WILL regret buying next time you’re at Home Goods.
The thing about regrets is that they feel like failures. Read this piece on four things to do to reframe failure.
Finally, whether you’re deep in Regretsville or not, it’s always good to start out fresh. Take a look at The Pivot Year, 365 Days to Become the Person You Truly Want to Be by Brianna West.
I had a lot of fun creating this timeline surrounding my “I regret not going to Spain my junior year” situation. You might want to make your own timeline - just to see how far you’ve come in general, or in overcoming something.
As I made the timeline, I thought a lot about how all the things I’ve done since college… probably wouldn’t have taken place had I gone abroad my junior year. This is because the act of missing out on something I had wanted made me Uber-determined to recreate it elsewhere. We can do this with almost any situation. Just because one thing happened doesn’t mean something better can happen later on. Right?
Here’s to living with no regrets.
P.s. In case you’re wondering, the photo at the top of newsletter was me on my first trip to Spain age 9, no doubt recalling my past life.